Got this from the net. Hehe.... read for ur self...
Joke #1
There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...
1 "I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired."
2 "I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you."
"I used to come here all the time with my ex."
3 "Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour."
4 "I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look."
5 "And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest."
6 "I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask."
7 "It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am."
8 "I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
Joke #2
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain which it was,and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.
FLY
Ok, Part 2
Regarding parenting (IMHO)
Children are gifts bestowed to parents by God. Children are supposed to be a joy (hence the phrase a bundle of joy) rite? and not a burden. They are also a responsibility. Parents are merely stewards to these gifts from God....... How the children turned out will reflect on how we exercise that stewardship...think about that...
Yes, definitely bringing up children is never easy. The Bible says Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6. So then, what is the way that the child should go? Definitely it is the way of the Lord. And the best way to do that will be thru our own lifestyle. Children see, children do...we cannot just teach them one thing and if we do not uphold what we teach...it just doesnt work. We really need to Talk the talk and walk the talk too. Again, value are caught not taught.
there are basically three kinds of parents (again IMHO):-
1. The King David Type
Generation : Commitment
Characteristics: loved ppl, used things, knew God and knew His works
Priority: God first, me second
Condition: Spiritual, hot, whole hearted for God
2. The King Solomon Type
Generation : Compromise
Characteristics: loved things, used ppl, knew God BUT knew not His Works
Priority: Me first, God second
Condition: Carnal, lukewarm, Half hearted for God
3. The King Rehoboam Type
Generation : Conflict
Characteristics: used ppl, used things, knew NOT God nor His works
Priority : Me first, me second
condition : natural, cold , No heart for God
From David to Solomon to Rehoboam were three generations...
So what i am trying to point out here is that godly parents do not guarantee godly children!
Parents, youth....
Let's ask ourselves this: Which type describe our spiritual condition best? and if we choose to do nothing about it, which condition will our children most likely be in? What is one measurable change we can make which will help us as parents or our children to be in the King David condition?
Being active and serving in the Church is always good but overdoing it and NEGLECTING the family is not something pleasing to the Lord, i believe. Ministries starts at home too! How you serve your family in the Lord is a ministry by itself, a true reflection of the faith in you, the love of God in you.
Parenting...it is a responsibility no doubt about it. but with it comes love, joy, peace, patience and kindness, goodness and self-control, gentleness and faithfulness..
A word to parents (if u r reading this) enjoy the gifts bestowed to you, treasure them, cherish them, invest them in the Lord, and That day will come when the Lord will say to you : "Well done, thou faithful servant..."
See the FUN in dysfunctional?.. have fun! I am...hehe
There are so many things happening all at once that i myself am at a loss for words on what to blog. Hmmm.... while getting my thoughts together, let me share some concerns here.
This year (2006), i am rather involved with i-youth...my involvement however does not cover teaching, praise and worship, that kind of stuff.... i feel that i am rather attached to them. what i am trying to say is take for example, there are people who loves football thus the saying makan bola, tidur bola, markah pun bola... well, with the youth, i am kinda like that. i live basically for saturday. Weird? Dunno.....
There are a few youth that i literally "grow" with them . Been with them through their emotional turmoil, been with them at their struggles with life at home and in school. Looking back my time as a youth, i cannot recall there being so much turmoil, hardship, PRESSURES, etc among the young people back then. Our days are basically basic. All the bare neccesities of live; food, clothing and shelter. Piano, tuition are items of luxury, affordable only by the rich.
IMHO with regards to :
EDUCATION
phew talk about pressure! Sometime i wonder, where does all this pressure come from? From the world? World standard = excellence in academic performance?
From the school? Schools are churning out batches after batches of "brilliant" students to meet the standards of the world and are indirectly are competing among other schools. Why? Indirectly telling the society that they are a better school, so SEND YOUR CHILDREN HERE...we will help them get excellent results.???
From parents? I got so fed up with question like " which class is your child in?"...and the worst thing is when the answer is anywhere between 3rd class to last class, the probability of us seeing the parents again is zero...sheesh! In my time, education is viewed as a basic requirement at least until Form 5. As long as we can pass and get Grade A is a blessing already. But the youth nowadays are so pitiful (imho), so pressured to perform to excellence...to achieve straight As is not good enough, must strive to achieve straight A1s.
Another thing, with so many "brilliant students" available in the market, how could one stand a chance unless one is also at par in term of academic excellence and acheivement? Now wonder parents are pressured (face value, hehe) and to maintain that value, expectation is therefore placed upon their children to perform.
From the children, themselves?? i tried to Imagine being in the pressure chamber with all sides compressing on me....the world, the school, the family and friends and self....what to do but COMPELLED TO PERFORMED. No wonder we see lots and lots of individual with high IQ but no EQ
WE all place so much emphasis on education., 24/7 but how much time do we give to our spiritual education? Do we seek tuition on Bible knowledge or studies when we cannot understand? Do we seek to strive for excellence for the Lord in studying His Word? GMC theme for the year: Transformed by the Word of God. Have we as parents encourage our children to read the Bible? It is so sad to have parents coming to me and say that my child cannot come cos UPSR/exam is near and my child is at home/tuition bla bla bla.... how sad. Amazing isn't it when your child can memorised all the 36 amanah/nilai for moral but nil with rdgs to the scriptures from the Word of God.
Parents beware! Children look up to us as model in theirlives, live by examples, please, because values in life are caught not taught..beware of the seeds you plant in your children's heart. Good seeds : good fruits; bad seeds: bad fruits!
so dont blame it on the government, the society, the school... cos Education starts in your home.
( Part 1)
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Now, riddle me this......?????
Hi
Life is so uncertained...agree ma? What if .....? How am i suppose to know.....? How leh....? Suppose....? Why me? Some questions have no immediate answers.... Some, the answers are right under our noses and we are too engrossed with the question to realise the answers, yet there are some questions that will always remain questions......
The Bible say "Trust in the Lord with all your hearts, do not rely on your own insights, in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight. (Prov 3: 5&6)" "Have no anxiety with anything, but in everything with supplication and thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will keep your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4: 6&7)
ok.... now for some fun stuff.....
1. Light as a feather, nothing in it.
A strong man can't hold it more than a minute.
What is it?
2. I am sometimes strong and sometimes weak, But I am nobody's fool.
For there is no language that I can't speak, Though I never went to school.
What am I?
3. With pointed fangs it sits in wait,
With piercing force its doles out fate,
Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might, Eternally joining in a single bite.
What am I?
ha ha.... tag your answers in the chatbox....
have a wonderful day.
Hey! Check these out. Hahaha.....
Herewith is a compendium of movie clichés, stereotypes, obligatory scenes, hackneyed formulas, shopworn conventions and outdated archetypes.
The author says that as you go to enough different movies, you start to notice things. Like how every time there's a chase scene in an exotic locale, a fruit cart gets overturned. Or how whenever the hero knocks out a Nazi sentry and puts on his uniform, the uniform is a perfect fit. Or how there are plots that would be over in five minutes, if all characters weren't idiots.
AC-WAT-NOBI Movie - A Cop With A Theory No One Believes In.
Against All Odds Rule - In an apparently fatal situation from which there is no possible hope of survival, it is certain the characters will survive. In a situation where there is any apparent chance of survival, there will be at least some deaths.
"Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens." - Whenever someone is alone at home at night and they hear a sound in the house and ask aloud, "(Name), is that you?" it NEVER is.
Air Vent Escape Route - If the hero is imprisoned in a building owned by the villains, there will inevitably be an air vent cover that is not screwed in and is easily removed. The passageway will be large enough to accommodate any size person.
The escape route will pass over the room where the bad guys are discussing the details of their diabolical plan, which the hero will now be able to foil.
Alien Berlitz Communication Rule (ABC Rule) - Movie aliens are able to learn the local language (English, French, Japanese, etc.) in an amazingly short time. Frequently this includes the ability to reproduce recognizable Earth-like accents.
Ali MacGraw's Disease - Movie illness in which only symptom is that the sufferer grows more beautiful as death approaches.
Back seat Inviso-Syndrome - Film characters are invariably unable to see a person crouched in the backseat of a car (even a convertible) when, in the real world, it is an impossible place for a person to hide.
Bad Movie Rental Warning Rule - If a rental movie box has a warning such as "If scenes of graphic horror offend you, do not rent this film!" -do not rent this film.
Baguette Envy - In every scene which includes a person carrying a bag of groceries, the bag will invariably contain a long, skinny, French baguette loaf, and exactly
8.5 inches of it will be exposed.
Bartender Establishing Shot - All movie bartenders, when first seen, are wiping the inside of a glass with a rag.
"Based on a True Story." - Hollywood shorthand, meaning:
Depressing,morbid, downbeat, including scenes so shocking or lascivious that no producer would include them in a movie unless he could excuse himself by saying these things actually happened.
Beeping Rule - In movies where cops, reporters, hackers, and others are using a computer to locate a suspect or special file, the successful retrieval of said subject is heralded with dramatic beeps, flashing messages, and other electronic indications that "something important has been found." The only time an ordinary computer ever beeps is when it refuses to carry out a command.
Beginning, The - Word used in titles of sequels to movies in which everyone was killed at the end of the original movie, making an ordinary sequel impossible. Explains to knowledgeable filmgoers that the movie will concern, for example, what happened in the Amityville house before the Lutzes moved in.
Other examples: The First Chapter, The Early Days, etc.
Best Play of the Game Rule - Every bad sports movie ends with the hero making an extraordinary catch/play/hit in slow motion to win the game at the final gun/bell/buzzer.
"Betcha Can't Name That Tune" Ploy - Almost all movie pianists, such as Clint Eastwood in 'In the Line of Fire', are perfectly happy playing nothing but chords. By never straying anywhere near a recognizable melody, they avoid paying royalties.
'Betsy' Syndrome - Identifying an actor in print by their latest film, regardless of how weak it was. Inspired by a newspaper article that appeared toward the end of Sir Lawrence Olivier's career, referring to him as "Lawrence ('The Betsy') Olivier."
Big Nod, The - Comes after the Last Word. After a character is fatally wounded, first he lies motionless and recites an incredibly meaningful statement. Then his head nods to one side.
Bogeyman Shot - Unaware victim is shot in close-up looking toward the camera, while a huge lopsided space is left vacant for the monster/killer to appear in.
Boob Tube - There is never anything worth seeing on TV in the movies.
Boom-Boom Rule - Whenever a building or a car explodes, the explosion will be repeated in its entirety from several different camera angles.
Born in the USA - Any movie set in an unnamed U.S. city will be revealed by the credits to have been filmed in Toronto or Vancouver.
British Roman Rule - All leaders of the Roman Empire have British accents. Why don't filmmakers want Romans to at least have Italian accents?
Broken Compass Principle - In New York City chase scenes, cars are able to turn off of avenues onto other avenues. This is impossible, since the avenues are parallel.
Bumbling Night Watchman - Any scene involving the good guy burgling an office at night will inevitably include a semi- competent night watchman, whose sole purpose is to inject an element of danger into an otherwise boring event. Actions performed by the watchman usually include shining flashlight through the window, rattling doorknobs, watching security monitors, etc., all done in a manner that allows the good guy to continue undetected until just after he discovers the needed information or object. He will then flee the scene with the watchman in pursuit.
Bun and Spectacles Rule - Any woman who appears in a movie with her hair in a tight bun and wearing glasses (usually large thick round ones) will inevitably turn out to be the beautiful heroine. She will magically acquire perfect vision and a sexy wardrobe.
