FLY

Got this from the net. Hehe.... read for ur self...

Joke #1
There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...
1 "I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired."
2 "I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you."
"I used to come here all the time with my ex."
3 "Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour."
4 "I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look."
5 "And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest."
6 "I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask."
7 "It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am."
8 "I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.


Joke #2
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain which it was,and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.